


Decadence

by noreek101



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Kindaichi is not nice, M/M, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-09 00:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7779349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noreek101/pseuds/noreek101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What exactly could Kunimi say?</p><p>Kageyama, is Kindaichi abusing you?</p><p>The words are so harsh, so black and white; and Kunimi is afraid--</p><p>Kunimi is thirteen years old, and his life is spiraling out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decadence

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Things Will Fall Apart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5241323) by [ImotoChan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImotoChan/pseuds/ImotoChan). 



> This is based off of a lovely Hinata/Kageyama work. I tried to write this so that it could also be read as a stand-alone, but I advise you to read Things Will Fall Apart first simply because it's amazing. ^^

Life is an endless cycle of euphoria and heartbreak.

Well. Endless is not exactly the correct term. After all, life in itself is short and fleeting, a blink in the course of humanity.

Kunimi likes to think of his particular blink as a piece of seaweed lying out on the beach. Useless, smelly, and bound to be forgotten as soon as the tide comes in.

Kunimi is twelve years old, and he's already going through an existential crisis.

Kindaichi calls him 'depressing.' Kunimi likes to consider himself 'philosophical.'

.

.

.

Kunimi is twelve years old, and the easy friendship he has with Kindaichi and Kageyama is already fading.

Because he has eyes--it's not as if he's _blind_ to the way Kageyama looks at Kindaichi (hesitant, hopeful, almost worshipping) and vice versa (enamored, enthralled, and something else Kunimi can't quite put his finger on).

Kageyama looks at Kindaichi like he hung the moon.

Kindaichi looks at Kageyama like he _is_ the moon.

"You like him, don't you," Kunimi says bluntly in the locker room, the sentence worded as a question but stated as a fact.

Kindaichi starts. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me. You _like_ him."

A strange, distant smile begins to curve along Kindaichi's lips. "Yeah," he says. "I guess I do."

The sick feeling in Kunimi's stomach gets even worse. Because Kindaichi didn't even have to ask who 'him' was. He just knew.

"Is that all right?" asks Kindaichi suddenly.

Stifling his thoughts, his traitorous thoughts, into the back of his mind, Kunimi rolls his eyes.

"Gods forbid I dictate your love life," he quips.

And Kindaichi just looks so relieved that it's worth it; Kunimi _knows_ it worth it.

It's the end of an era, though, the signal of their friendship's death.

Because Kunimi knows what it's like to have a third wheel. They won't want him around anymore, and there's nothing he can do to change that.

.

.

.

Kunimi is thirteen years old, and life has gone on.

They're still friends, but something has changed in Kageyama. He's harsher, angrier, the word _desperate_ at the tip of Kunimi's tongue.

"You need to talk to him," Kunimi snaps.

Kindaichi blinks.

"Why?"

 _This isn't something you need to ask, 'Why?' for!_ Kunimi wants to scream.

"He thinks he needs to catch up with Oikawa, become _better_ than Oikawa," Kunimi says instead.

"I know."

"He's trying too hard."

"I know."

"Then talk to him--"

Kindaichi brushes Kunimi's words away as if they're inconsequential flies. "He'll figure it out eventually. Besides, if you're so worried, then why don’t you tell him yourself?"

That's the thing, though. Kageyama won't listen to Kunimi. He never listens to Kunimi; it's Kindaichi, only and always Kindaichi.

"You know why," Kunimi hisses.

Kindaichi just shrugs.

"I thought you loved him," Kunimi finally says. It's a weak argument, but Kindaichi is somewhat of a fool when it comes to sentiment, so maybe--

"I do. I just think he needs to figure it out for himself."

Kunimi shoves back a scream.

(Maybe Kindaichi is right, though. Maybe Kageyama just needs time, and then he'll come around and see how much of a fool he's being.) ( _Maybe_.)

Oh, who is Kunimi trying to kid? Kageyama and Kindaichi are too much of idiots to ever make it on their own.

.

.

.

Kunimi tries to say something.

But Kageyama doesn't listen, just like Kunimi knew he would.

(And his eyes are so desperate, so pleading. But it can only ever be Kindaichi; it _has_ to be Kindaichi--!)

Kindaichi does talk to Kageyama, but not in the way Kunimi wants or in the way Kageyama needs.

Kunimi doesn't know what Kindaichi says--but he sees the effect. (Flinching shoulders, eyes never meeting Kunimi's, trembling hands.)

Kunimi is thirteen years old, and he's starting to wonder--he's--

He's beginning to think his best friend is abusing his other best friend.

What’s even worse is that he _knows_ Kindaichi loves Kageyama. But it’s a sick, twisted form of love, a _perversion_ of it.

And he doesn't know how to explain that to Kindaichi.

.

.

.

What exactly could Kunimi say?

_Kageyama, is Kindaichi abusing you?_

The words are so harsh, so black and white; and Kunimi is afraid--

Even if he manages to sum up the courage to ask, would Kageyama even answer?

.

.

.

"You need to stop," Kunimi says.

There's shock in Kindaichi's eyes, but too little, far too little for what he just did. (You shouldn’t look that calm if you just got restrained from kicking your boyfriend to the point of blood. You should never look that calm--!)

Kindaichi is saying something, promising something; but the buzzing in Kunimi's ears is too loud for him to hear. Because he _knows_ now, what that strange expression in Kindaichi’s eyes when he looks at Kageyama:

Possessiveness. (As if he _owns_ Kageyama instead of loving him.)

_Kageyama, is Kindaichi abusing you?_

Kunimi is thirteen years old, and his life is spiraling out of control.

.

.

.

Kunimi is fourteen years old, and Kageyama has gotten even worse.

The desperate, hungry, confused glaze in his eyes is still there. Kunimi doesn't understand--Kindaichi promised to stop hurting Kageyama. And he did; Kunimi is _sure_ of it.

There are multiple possibilities (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or maybe just a plain need for affirmation--it could be anything.)

But Kageyama is closed off from the world, and Kunimi doesn't know how to reach through.

.

.

.

"We could do something," Kindaichi says randomly during one of the rare moments when it's just him and Kunimi.

Kunimi's lips thin.

"Like what?"

(He hates how he doesn’t have to ask what Kindaichi is talking about, hates that he instintively just _knows_.)

Kindaichi starts to speak, and the sick feeling Kunimi shoved away two years ago when Kindaichi started dating Kageyama is back at full force.

It's a horrible plan. Worse, it's possibly traumatizing.

But Kunimi has nothing else.

So he agrees.

He agrees and tries to ignore the whispers of 'traitor' within his mind.

.

.

.

Another fast, impossible to touch toss.

No one moves.

No one moves,

and

      the

         ball

            falls.

_Thud._

_._

_._

_._

The guilt is already forming.

_I should not have done this; I should not have done this; I should not have--_

Then Kunimi sees Kageyama's eyes:

Confused, angry, humiliated, defeated.

And all directed towards Kindaichi.

And Kunimi wants to scream. Because Kindaichi did not stop; he _never_ stopped, and the possessive hunger in his eyes had only grown _worse_.

He just did it where Kunimi could not see.

Kunimi is fourteen years old, and he finally understands.

Their friendship died years ago.

It was dying the second it began.

.

.

.

Kunimi sees Kageyama again.

It’s at a practice match (of course), and Kageyama is with a different team.

It shouldn’t sting (they betrayed each other, over and over again, to the point that it would take years to peel the layers of anguish away), but it _does_.

Because Kageyama is happy; Kunimi can see it in his eyes, in the quirk of his mouth as he tosses--oh, those impossibly fast tosses--to the number ten _who spikes them perfectly_.

Kageyama hasn’t healed. Not yet. But he’s getting there, and--

And Kunimi did nothing to help him.

Kunimi is fifteen years old, and it feels like their friendship dying all over again.


End file.
